i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
