Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Randomize
