she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
