I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize