How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
