i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
