So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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