I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
