Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
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I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
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I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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