btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I am available for nakedness
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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