I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I looked at my own cervix.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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