If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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