I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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