She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
