turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
