he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
