what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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