Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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