Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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