Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Randomize
