Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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