Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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