That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
