and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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