Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
be right there i have to get my cape
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
