Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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