MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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