I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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