her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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