OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
