Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
two words: eviction party
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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