drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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