Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
