it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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