Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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