Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
