He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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