Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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