So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
