ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
