Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
