She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
