i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
