can u get pink eye on your cock?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i think my cat just said my name.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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