Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
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What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
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Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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