I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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