Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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