"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
