Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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