I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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