...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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