I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize