I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
