he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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