We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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