Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
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You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
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I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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