Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
