you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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